You ever look at something, and you can tell what it is but recognize that there are components missing from the image? Somewhat blurred…? But even the term “blurred” doesn’t capture what it is exactly being seen. To be more specific, when you look at this thing, you use the colors of the object, the context at which this object is in, and the lighting/position of the object to determine in the end what it is. If you can’t relate and you have seen everything in its full and complete picture, I’m envious of you and your spectacular vision.
When I was in the second grade, the optometrist recommended that I should wear glasses. They said my vision wasn’t terrible to the point where it necessitated glasses usage, but that it would be highly recommended, and over time, would be needed for far-sighted activities, such as driving and attending classes. Too bad. I rarely wear my glasses. For at least 15 years, I have relied on using lights, colors, and the environment to inform what it is that I would be looking at. For example, when I drive, I look at the shapes of the other cars, the color of stop lights, the shape and color of the dotted lines to inform my driving. This is unequivocally inappropriate, and I recognize that I should use my glasses more frequently. But why do I not?
One night, I went for a walk. And this is unusual for me– I hate walks. I think they’re pretty pointless. But I was distressed that night. I felt alone, and I needed to explore my emotions outside of my apartment. I decided to listen to some of my impulsive thoughts, and one of them said to go for a walk and listen to music. I ended up finding myself at the park, on a bench, and looking up at the sky. I was looking for my wallet, but found my glasses in my jacket pocket instead. I put them on out of curiosity, because I can’t remember the last time that I even looked at the sky, nor do I have memories of looking up at the sky with my glasses on.
Undeniably, the sky was perfect. I looked around, and in terms of being in its own essence and its naturality, the trees, the ground, the dirt, the shrubs, the grass, the sky, the clouds, the stars were all perfectly them. Why did this stick out so much to me that it warranted a blog post? Well, I think a conversation that I’ve always had with myself includes this concept of perfection and achieving perfection but recognizing that it wasn’t a manageable expectation to have. While I know I couldn’t perfect myself in the same way that perfection cannot be obtained through human means, the earth is perfect. It is truly, organically, itself, and as a result, is in congruency. There is nothing in this world through human means that can replicate or achieve this state of being. Or atleast, not that we can operationalize. It was a beautiful realization.
So, why don’t I wear glasses more? Why did I not wear glasses? Perhaps I was afraid of seeing everything for what it was. It left an undertone of mystery. Like there was something missing, but it was okay if I didn’t know. You know… The whole ignorance is bliss thing.
Then there was another realization.
One of disgust.
One of despair.
“What are we doing to our perfect world?”